Breastfeeding is a high commitment activity. A lot of time and energy and commitment had to be put into it. The waking up to pump (especially if your baby does not want to do direct feeding, like baby Ian) can be so tiresome at times I feel like throwing in the towel and calling it quits. By the time I am done with the cleaning and sterilizing and expressing, 1 hour had just ticked away. 1hr of precious sleep. 
But when I think of how beneficial it is for baby Ian, I kept going, pushing myself to go for another day, another week. I set a goal of minimum 2months breast feeding, and by now I had only managed to accomplished 5weeks of it; another 3 to go. Mothers at my office are very gung ho at breast feeding (well, the ones I met and associate myself with. It helps to surround myself with positive thinking mommies eager to give their babies the best in life), managing to keep going for 10months, 1year and 1.5years.
As of now, baby Ian’s total intake of milk per day has more breast milk in it than formula. Normally I feed him 2 times of EBM, and 1 time of formula and repeat the cycle. He takes about 3.5oz each time and it lasts about 2.5hrs to 3hrs. I have no idea how to increase my milk production, although I follow certain advice of eating more soya ben milk, and eating green vegetables. But my harvest don’t yield much. Sometimes I still get depressed whenever my supply went to 2oz per pump and I cant figure out the reasons for
Hubby gave me full rein in deciding whether I want to continue or not, seeing how tired I am, but I decided that I do not want to give up yet; specially after knowing that my breast milk tastes better than formula milk. Enfalac has a kind of smell (well, what do you expect, milk smell la!) while breast milk (freshly pumped) has no smell and is higher in fat content, suitable for babies’ growth. The downside of breast feeding is mothers had to be careful with what they eat, and it’s better to eat more healthy food so your baby can get all the nutrients. I had failed to do that, as I only eat regular meals. ><ll
well, one way you can entertain yourself (might as well if you can’t sleep) – how about watching some “accidentally on purpose” online? it’s a comedic sitcom that’s really funny which i’ve discovered reecently. you can try this website and the best links to use are those of wisevid or zshare. divx link often requires additional installation so i wouldn’t advise it.
with several friends who have kids etc, the general consensus, yes, initially they felt guilty when breast feeding didn’t go to plan but really, it’ll be fine. the key here is that your baby is healthy and well-fed. everyone’s body works differently, so don’t feel like you’re not being a good mama because you’re not breast feeding for a year etc.
yaya.. previously was beating myself up and feeling bad cos really low milk production, not enuf to give baby even exclusively for a day. hu ha hu ha smmore cried over it. but i got over the low moments d. at least baby is getting some if not fully on BM. better than getting none. haha..
oh i can sleep at night, just i dont get enuf of it! there are a few times i nearly dozed off while pumping. luckily nvr drop the pump else if milk are spilt, wasted lo… hehe..