During my conversation with many mothers, somehow the issue of breasfeeding will popped up. Basically there are only 2 main groups of mothers, with another minority group in the shadow. The minority are those who do try to breast feed, and then give up because milk production dry up, and they did nothing to keep the supply going. The main 2 groups, are those who are pro on BF, and those who chose not to BF. Both groups will have their own reasons, such as the ones I listed below.

 Pro breast feeding:

• The goodness and benefits of breast milk is evident. No matter how clever a scientist to concoct a milk powder formula, it will still come short as compared to BM.
• BM has antibody, as opposed to milk powder. Especially the initial 2 days, the colostrum has the highest concentration of antibody.
• BF encourages bonding between mother and baby. Just Google on the internet and there are endless research papers attesting to this.  
• BM is easily digested by baby, hence resulting in no constipation as compared to milk powder, where babies will have to be fed water to avoid constipation and heatiness.
• The satisfaction a mother feels when her baby drinks her milk (in my case, I am happy when Ian finishes my milk each time. Haha! Sounds lame huh? )

 Gave up on breast feeding:

• Couldn’t cope with the fatigue, because need to be awake many times to feed baby, be it directly or through pumping.
• Couldn’t cope with the emotional stress
• Is not adamant on whether babies are fed milk powder or breast milk, as long as babies are fed milk, and growing healthily, it is fine.
• Milk supply dried up, and did nothing much to kept it going. Hence the milk stopped.
• Need to be away from baby (parents worked somewhere, baby are taken care by family in another state)

 Truth to be told, many a times I do feel like giving up too. When milk supply was low, I felt like Sahara Desert without a speck of rain. Or when I am tired, sick, stressed out. But somehow or rather, along the way, the more obstacle I dealt with, my determination got stronger. Up until the point when I had mastitis, I actually thought to myself, and God of course. “What the heck, just throw whatever u want in my way, and hell No, I am not giving up on breast feeding now”. (Suddenly sounded like Wonder Woman in the making. Perasan siot! )

 But I guess the main factor which has been my pillar of strength all this while is the love I have for Ian, is far greater than the love I have for myself. That is why I pushed myself to the limit, do what is best and what is within my power to ensure he has BM no matter what. I think that when you love someone more than yourself, you will sacrifice many things for them, totally eroding yourself of any hint of selfishness. I also felt that my milk is superior as opposed to milk powder (susu cap Marilyn).

And I wanted to give Ian the very best, therefore I am so gung ho on breast feeding.

I must say it is a very demanding job, being a working mum who is still breast feeding, because you need to slot in your pumping time in between your tasks. And sometimes, when I am too stressed out, milk can hardly come out at all during pumping! Huhu… but overall the satisfaction beats the hardship. now I’m googling and finding ways to increase my milk production, aside from pumping 6 to 7 times a day. it’s kind of sad that I need to top up with milk powder at times, but I felt that giving Ian partial BM is better than none at all. He is now 11weeks old, and has had BM for 8weeks. The other 3 weeks, I did not give my milk to him because I was on meds for different reasons, and had to throw my milk away. I will try my utmost to breastfeed for as long as possible. Gambate!~~

 p/s: Ian, if this blog survives the 10 or 20yrs of your life, and you get to read all these posts, rest assure mommy and papa loves you very very much!   and darling hubby, I love you too!! muaks!