It is a wonder that once you become a mother, your priorities changed. The things you fret over changes as well. Once upon a time ago, conversations revolves around what is the latest movie, what books to read, when to go shopping, hanging out at night at starbucks, and many more. Nowadays conversations are peppered with questions such as “do you breastfeed your baby, do you have enough milk supply, what are the ways to increase milk, how often your baby wakes up at night, and so on”.

I am slowly adapting and adjusting to being a mother, but everyday poses a new challenge. There are always tiny bits of baby Ian’s habits to learn as we both grow together. For sure, he is one timid baby. easily startled over the littlest sounds. Even the sound of me gulping down water startled him once. Poor kid…

Back in the confinement days, I used to be depressed whenever I was hit by the wave of dry spell. Whenever my milk was running low, I feel very sad because I cant give baby Ian what’s best for him. Liquid gold is what I called my breast milk. There are occasions when I felt withdrawn and broke down whenever the feelings overwhelmed me. Blame it on post natal depression. But hubby was always there to comfort me. He said that I had already tried my best, so if the milk production is still low, its not wrong to top up with formula. Initially I could not accept what he said, but as time goes by I learnt to let go and the stress level dropped. On my good days, I can yield more output, and that actually makes me happy for no reason at all. As for now, baby Ian has >50% intake of EBM. But I’m afraid as time goes by and he grows bigger, needing more milk, the input of EBM and formula will be equal. All I can do now is to try to produce more milk by eating healthy food. Therefore, everyday I have a date with the toy that helps me to feed baby Ian. About 6-8 times a day, including waking up in the wee hours of the morning with each session lasting 30-40mins. Below is the picture of my toy.

 On another note, I’m complaining to hubby daily about not having any clothes to wear. My butt is wider now and so is my thigh, and my tummy is a freaking 34inches. Sob sob… so I can’t fit into all my jeans, pants and shorts and baby tees. Won’t want to shop for new clothes but looks like I have no choice after all. My slimming down effort is slowed by the fact I do not wear a girdle, because according to those mommies, the girdle helps to get back in shape faster. Hubby says to wear dresses to work at the moment, but I don’t really like to go to office in dresses or skirts. When I was pregnant I had no choice, but if given the power to choose, jeans and pants beats down any dresses or skirts hands down.

 Last Friday, Yong Yee and Sing Yee came over to help me take some shots of baby Ian, and it came out beautifully done. I attached 2 pictures here, those that YY passed to me. Am looking forward to the ones from Sing Yee later on. hubby lost weight taking care of baby, but I had yet to lose the extra 5-6kg because I pigged out most of the time. ;p

my beautiful moment with my boys

the love of our (both hubby and i) life

we are a happy family :D

p/s: bj, here’s the family potrait for ur sis lil.

2009 was a good year, more so because of the new little bubba. I spent ¾ of the whole year carrying Ian inside me, and it’s a tumultuous yet fun journey I dare say. He is such a joy when he finally says hi to this world, and to his mommy and daddy. he has regained the position as the little king of the house, and we all have been relegated to become his humble servants, attending to his every needs.

Like very newborn, he is impatient, and likes to be cuddled a lot. Sometimes he goes to sleep after feeding, and sometimes he likes to carried and sleeps in your arms. He got used to the bottle after my hospital stays, and does not want to suck directly from me during feeding. so I need to pump for him very often now. One day I told him, “mommy gave you nenen, u don’t want. U preferred the pacifier eh?” and he smiles back at me after I said those words. -_-

 A friend told hubby, if baby cries and don’t want to stop, get him to sleep on his tummy. That’s what we did with Ian one day when he bawls at the top of his lungs. Guess what happened? After we put him on his tummy, he keeps quiet for awhile. Then he starts to frown, and both hubby and I thought we finally can get him to quiet down with this trick. Little did we know, he pulls his legs into a crawling position, pulls his hands into his chest as if he wants to crawls, and tries to lift his head up going all red in the face!!! Coming from a baby who is not a month old yet, my mum was marveled and both hubby and I were so shocked we decided to not let him sleep on his tummy anymore. For fear he will injure his neck muscles when he strains that hard!! My mum said this is the first time she has seen a baby does this.

Oh ya, the nurse from Jabatan Kesihatan though that hubby is a big sized fella because Ian is so tall for his age, but I said no to her assumptions. And some aunty who came said that Ian looked like he is 2months old instead of just 20+days. And he has already outgrown his new born sized pyjamas and weighs 4.3kg at 20days. He’s got long, thin pianist fingers and that definitely got me green because I have short thin fingers. -_- that gene definitely came from my mum I guess. Everyone speculates he’s going to be a tall fella, so let’s just wait and see. no matter how he turns out to be, he’s going to be my baby boy and I love him very much.