I went to take a look at Ian just now before pumping, cos I heard his noises (he makes this funny baby gurgling noises at times when he’s not bawling) and mum said she just fed him my EBM. So I guess there goes my chance to coax him into direct feeding. Because it was the perfect timing as I was having let-down reflexes, good for him to suck. Oh well, I’ll just pump out I guess. He prefers the bottle nowadays cos he’s an impatient guy. And he kind of got used to it while I was in the hospital previously. Sob sob…

Anyways I sat and watched him for awhile, and he looked awfully cute when he sleeps. He wriggles a lot (that explains it cause he was just like that when he was in my tummy), smiles a lot and then just goes back to sleep. Ah… at that moment, he looks like an angel. But when he starts bawling, I always teased him by calling him Suzuki or Yamaha (referring to the noise motorcycles made when you turn the accelerator). I believe Ian is going to be a little charmer next time, but also very naughty.

And last week, he had a bunch of visitors, coming with baby items, pressies and Ang Pows for him. Lucky guy cos mommy and daddy did not get any gifts. hahaa… and everyone remarked on how alike he is with me, well, except the sexy lips he has. That he definitely inherited it from his dad, along with his M shape hairline. he’s got my hair texture too, all soft but thick like his dad’s. haha! Like what Pei Lynn said, he’s got all the good genes. Except maybe the eyes. It’s like mine, so it’s small. Typical Chinese “sepet”. Hehehee… would be nicer if he’s got his dad’s instead. But oh well, he is perfect as he is. in my eyes anyways. All babies are perfect and cute in their parents’ eyes, likewise the proverb beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

When I delivered baby Ian, I lost around 5kg. I found that out after I was required to weigh myself in the hospital (standard procedure by the doctors). Because weighing myself is the last thing on my mind after I had Ian, mostly because I did not mind at all the weight gain in the first place.

But then, yesterday I took a look at myself in the mirror, and I noticed that I am thinner than usual. But I thought that was just my imagination, so I did not bother with it. But at night when hubby tucked me into bed, he remarked that I look thinner. That got me wondering, did I lost another few kilos? So up I went on the weighing machine, and I found now my weight just plummeted to a mere 50kg. That’s like 4kg in a week!! With all the food intake I was having, I guess the weight lost is probably due to lack of sleep and breast feeding. Guess what those people said are right, once you breast feed, the weight will just melt away. But I don’t want to be super skinny like I used to be. the only place I wanted to lose weight was my flabby tummy. Other than that, I have no concerns over the area of my body. Maybe a smaller butt perhaps. ;p

This is a picture of my 2 boys, whom I loved endlessly. I noticed that whenever I watch hubby plays with baby Ian, I fell in love with him all over again. *gushing with warm feelings*

my 2 boys, ian at 2 weeks old

 I’m so excited when I got my new skincare from hubby yesterday. Cant wait to try it out when my confinement is over. I asked a CT to help me buy them in US (with the assumption that in US it is selling at a cheaper price because I did not go survey in the outlet in QB) and he passed it to uncle to gave to hubby yesterday. Hehee.. Below is the picture I took. I got a free gift for purchases above usd100 but according to CT, the sales gal was stingy with samples, so I only had 3 samples instead. Humbug!

my new loccitane skincare set. woo~~

Baby has decided to extend his stay in my womb for another week so it seems. So as agreed with the gynae, I packed my bag with hubby’s helped to enroll into a 3 days 2 nights package in hospital on 8^th December to induce labour. Truth to be told, I was apprehensive and was entertaining the thought of just going for caesarean operation to ease things and save time, and maybe hassle? But we decided to proceed with natural birth as that was my intention in the first place. Only God knew how long it was going to be and I have no idea what I have gotten myself into.

 After reaching hospital at around 9am and settled into admission of a 2 bedded room, got checked by the midwife and procedure were started. Before that, I was given enema to purge out my stools. And then, the horror begins. Dear God, I hated it all very much because it was so uncomfortable and stings.

 The first tablet was inserted at about 10.30am, and they told me to stay away from heavy food. Only soft diet was allowed. I guess that is because everyone is optimistic that my cervix will open up on that day itself, but I had my skepticism. I just had a niggling feeling that this labour would not be easy and it would be some sort of test. Sigh, little did I know whatever worse things that can happen happened along the way. 6hours after the first tablet, I still showed no signs of contractions at ALL. NONE whatsoever. And all I can think about is food because I was so hungry they made me eat soft diet like porridges and bread. So I asked my gynae, she gave me the green light and I went down to the café to get some chocolate biscuits I laid my eyes on that morning.

 So at 4.30pm, after checking that I had not dilated at all, a 2^nd tablet was inserted. I was feeling normal until 6pm when the contractions got heavier. It lasted about 20 to 30seconds, with 2 to 3mins interval in between. There I was getting my hopes high that maybe I can deliver by midnight or in the wee hours of the morning with the way the contractions are acting. But I was dead wrong.

Hubby went home to sleep after my last check showed that no dilation had happened, and I was so crushed that I broke down and cried even before the nurses left the room, and they were so kind they were consoling me and hubby stood there speechless with a look in his eyes I can’t put into words.

 Throughout the night, I can’t sleep a wink because of the painful contractions. I tried asking for painkillers but the nurses told me that if they give me any painkillers, it’s going to knock off the effects of the tablets and my cervix will not open at all. So it’s a wasted effort. It came to a point I was going to give up and ask for a c-sect, but then its useless cos it’s middle of the night and nobody is going to entertain me I figure. So there I was tossing and turning to my left, right, and nothing can be done to help me go to sleep. I kept  buzzing for the nurses and there’s this kind older nurse who volunteer to get me some magazines or things to get me distracted. I am thankful to her in a sense that she kept me going throughout the night.  By the wee hours of the morning, imagine how I felt when during the 4^th for 5^th dilation check, the midwife told me that I had open 2cm. in fact she looked so equally as happy as me, although before she puts her fingers in, I struggled as usual and she always ask me to calm down and take a deep breath. Cos I always get teary eyed due to the stinging after dilation checks, and I dreaded it so much the midwife knew it and sometimes she tells her colleagues to be gentle with me. I love this nurse so much too! and her name is Kak Maizun. The other kind lady, I cant see her name on the tag because it’s always on the wrong side.

 Because I can’t sleep the whole night, I kind of made up my mind to go for epidural in the morning if they needed to wheel me down to the labour room. In the morning, they checked again before epidural, and I was only at 3cm. that was around 9am. As usual it stings like hell, having someone probing their fingers inside you looking for opening and gauging it and touching your baby’s head at the same time. I think you guys can imagine.

 So I got wheeled down to the new, spacious labour room, and got my water bag  broke at 9am++, and epidural pumped in after that. Before long, my legs starting to go numb and I don’t feel any more contraction pain, but I kind of freaked out because I felt paralyzed from the waist down. I know that’s the whole point of epidural, but still it freaked me out to a point I kept asking nurses whether it’s normal and to lower down the dosage. I was given a drip of pitocin too to speed up my contractions and by 1pm I think I had about 4cm to 5cm of dilation.

 By nearly 3pm, I was telling the nurse to up my epidural dosage cos I start to feel contractions again, which isn’t supposed to happen I figure. So she upped my dosage, but I complained that I kept feeling them. Then she suspected that I am already fully dilated, and lo and behold was she right! I am at the 10cm finishing line. Finally! But the real horror just began. At first, the older nurse asked me to lie down on my side for another 15mins because baby’s head is still quite high up although he is engaged. So there I was breathing in and out for it.

Oh ya, did I mention that alongside with the epidural, I was suffering from the side effects of it since it was administered. I shivered uncontrollably, and vomited everything out, from my lunch to drinks to stomach juices, and everyone lost count of how many times I puked, and because my stomach was empty, I was suffering from severe gastric pain the whole afternoon. Epidural can’t numb my gastric pain apparently.

The midwife lets me start to push at 3pm, and in between pushing for baby’s head to crown, I puked left and right in the labour room until the younger nurse finally relented and gave me and anti vomit injection in the middle of my pushing session. Wasn’t quite happy with the young nurse who helped me to push in the beginning, because I think she lack compassion, and was all business and no nonsense. And initially she refused to inject me with anti vomit meds and kept asking me to not think of the gastric pain and get my baby out cos his heartbeat is dropping. I think after seeing that I keep puking each time I pushed, she consulted and older nurse and I am not sure by who’s order she later on injected me with the meds. But she chose to leave the room halfway thru to work on an epidural case next door, and I got back my older nurse who is much kinder. Thank god for that! I don’t think I can push with the younger nurse bossing me around. -_- guess we mutually dislike each other.

 After pushing for few times, I was dead tired and the older nurse said to let me rest for awhile, as ordered by my gynae. So I got a 10 to 15mins break in between, and by the time Dr Voon came in, she pushed in the vacuum equipment too. I guess the older nurse had already told her that I can push until the baby’s head crown, but I wasn’t strong enough to push him out wholly. Each time I stop, the baby’s head goes right back in. sob sob… and they cant give me any meds for gastric until I get my baby out of me. Sigh…

 So after Dr Voon came in, she and the older nurse and hubby encouraged me to push, and I gave it my all each time, but with the gastric pain pressing right back up, and I need to suppress the urge to puke at times, finally I guess I had enough of baby’s head out for Dr Voon to attach to the vacuum because suddenly I heard she said “it’s out” or “he’s out” I totally had no idea, and the nurse and doctor and hubby were happy and I was like “what’s out??”, and they said baby’s head. And they kept telling me to push, so I was even more gung ho since baby’s head is out, and I just pushed and popped, baby materialized in front of me. Dangling when the doctor held him and kind of blue all over. And Dr Voon asked hubby whether he wants to cut baby’s umbilical chord, but hubby declined and kissed me on the forehead. Ah… the moment………

So they start sucking things out of baby and then he started to cry and I was still a little disoriented but hubby was already super excited cos he went over to baby’s cot and kept looking at him. Haha! But I still need to stay still for the doctor to get the placenta out, which was humongous, and then she stitched me up. It kind of stings, but bearable, because maybe I still have some leftover meds from the epi. Oh ya, when you are supposed to start pushing for baby, the doctor will off your epidural so you will feel your contractions and know when to push.

So after 22hours (from the moment pain sets in til labour), baby was born at 4.03pm on 9^th December 2009. And he’s quite heavy, weighing 8.14pounds.

Our little guy.

And I couldn’t have done it without my beloved hubby, my superb gynae Dr Voon Meng Hoon and the kind nurses in Loh Guan Lye.

baby Ian

Today is D-day. But baby has shown no signs of wanting to come out. All he did whole day was just wriggle around, making his presence know and now while I am typing this, he is hiccuping in my womb. It is always a sensation I had to get used to because once he hiccuped, it will be sometime before it subsides. But I am not complaining though, because everyday, I will get paranoid if I feel that he isnt moving as often as he should. And every night, before I go to bed, I always wonder whether I will wake up in the middle of it due to contractions, but for the past few nights, I only woke up to go to pee. Hehe..

Everyone is asking me whether I am excited, but after  a week’s plus of idling at home, I am getting bored.  And there I was whining to hubby yesterday night because I was frustrated, saying “waiting is agony, when can I just get this over and done with?”  He scooted over and hugged me and gave a kiss on the forehead. Sigh… ever so sweet  and endearing as always. During check-up yesterday, the gynae said to give me 1 more week, that is until the 8^th of December. If I stil show no signs of delivering by then, I am supposed to get admitted on the 8^th and they will start to induce the labour. Yikes! I hate inducing, because of the rate of failure depending on the readiness of your body. And the gynae did mention that if there are using the drip to induce contraction, it will be much more painful than normal labour pain. Arggh!!

Let me educate you gals out on the 2 options of labour induction. 1, is to use 2 tables to be inserted into your vagina, to soften the uterus. This will be done if the gynae feels that your uterus is not ready to go into labour yet. One of my friend had this type of labour induction, and the pain was too much she ended up with c-sect because the cervix would not dilate in time too. 2ndly, if your uterus is already ready, they will induce contraction with drips, to encourage dilation and normally this works, but the pain is  excruciating (according to my ex-boss because she had this type of induction of labour and she took epidural because the pain was just too great to bear). Ahh… the wonders of labour eh? Scary busines I tell you!

On a side note, my gynae did an internal examination yesterday, because I’m near due date and still showing no signs, and there’s no dilation on my part yet. It was uncomfortable, and it kind of burns. Eeks! Be it the baby or the uterus, both are not ready yet for labour. And the mommy is being held in suspense waiting everyday. And hubby is always jumpy if he sees me grimacing at times, but mostly its due to my backache rather than the onset of contractions. And I remember the way his face crumpled when I told him its not contractions.

Wonder when I can give him the good news?

Mom is here with little sister since yesterday. Hubby and I brought them to the new Korea Palace in Crystal Point, although it’s nothing to shout about. The place is not as jam packed as I expected it would be, considering it’s newly opened. Did not bother taking any pictures too. overall, given another chance, I might go to Doarae again instead of this place. The marinated meat isn’t anything impressive, but the ban chan (accompanying side dishes that comes with BBQ orders) are better than Doaroe (that’s what I felt la). Other than that, I will prefer the miso seafood soup and spicy seafood tofu soup from Doarae anytime. The portion there seems more generous. Heee.. The Korean manager of that place looks like a Korean artiste though. Haha! Today, hubby woke up early and went to the wet market with mum; while sister and I slept in (I’m so spoilt! Yes I know! ). So we had yummy home cooked food, and mum complained that our balcony is too dirty. (paiseh paiseh). I guess she just can’t stand it when she sees our place in disarray. Well, blame it on me in a way. I’m too big to do most of the household chores now, as my back sometimes aches badly. And I have no heart to tell hubby to do it because lately we both are busy with work and by the time we reached home, both of us are tired. And we worked on most weekends too. Poor guy, and yet he still takes good care of me. On another note, I can feel baby is growing bigger. As it’s harder to sleep at night, and my stretch marks just got worse. He wriggles most of the time, especially during meal times and stops to sleep after I eat. Smart little fella! Hehee..

oh ya, I showed mum my stretch marks and pigmentation on my tummy last night, and she was surprised and said “how come your tummy is so pigmented? Last time when I had you kids, 4 of you, and my tummy never looked like that!” and she showed me her tummy, scar free. -_- just the regular flabby fat that old people used to have. Crap…. So I went grumbling to hubby, seeking assurances. Aih.. the price you have to pay for a baby. -_-

Today we went for my routine check up, and as usual when Dr Voon asked me is there any signs yet, I answered cheerfully “nope. Still good.” Hehe..  She did my ultrasound after checking my blood pressure, weight and urine, and as suspected, baby is estimated to be 3.55kg. I had already told hubby early on before we went to the hospital that I had a feeling baby will be at least 3.5kg. Because I did feel my tummy getting heavier, and it’s harder to change position when I sleep at night. And I can no longer sleep on my back because I will feel like as if there are bricks on my chest and tummy, pressing down on me causing discomfort.

Oh ya, did I mention that we kind of confirm that baby has hubby’s nose and forehead? Hehee… well, he looked kind of squashed in between my pelvic bones, but we roughly made out his features. Regarding his lips, it was too blurry to make out how it is shaped like. Hehee.. Am not sure whether he has inherited hubby’s sexy lips too. and since his eyes are closed, we need to wait till he is out before making any guesses. Dr even mentioned that although he is squashed inside me, he doesn’t seem to want to come out yet. Hehe.. I guess he’s having fun in there.

Well, I am not going to push him to come out earlier; I still need to work until this Friday anyways. Maybe next week would be a great time for him to say Hi to all of us who has been anticipating his arrival, especially his mommy who can’t wait to clothe him in his cute jumpsuits. I’m not eager bout the pooping business though. hehe…