Today I told Agnes, when I looked back at my breastfeeding journey, it feels kinda long because it has been 8months 3 weeks. On the contrary, if I look forward to my 1yr mark, then the whole journey seems to be very FAR. She said I’m very funny. Haha… I think so too.

Anyways, I am just glad I had persevered for so long. It has been a long, difficult ride, sometimes a tad lonely too. No, don’t get me wrong. Hubby has been extremely supportive, just that sometimes expressing alone in the mother’s room feels mechanical; an organ which was touted to be a symbol of sexuality which defines feminism, one that serves as a key to different plethora of heightened pleasures  now merely serves as a functional tool. And Did I worry about it sagging post BF? Of course! But the pros clearly outweighed the cons, so this is a journey I must continue. I admitted to hubby yesterday sometimes I do feel like throwing in the towel, because I am really tired. Each day, I had to plan my schedule around my expressing sessions. Each outings, right before leaving home I will make sure I squeeze in one session, and the first thing that came to mind whenever I reach home is to pump. I am not martyring myself, just admitting how I felt.  Of course all the tiredness is replaced with a sense of contentment each time I see Ian finishes his milk, and to watch that face brightens up my world whenever he smiles or grins. And the real reason which motivates me is that I can’t find it in my heart to feed him with formula when I am still able to do so. I did some top up feedings with formula, but that is as far as I can go at the moment because I believe (and it’s the truth anyway) that breast milk is far superior than cow’s milk.

After telling hubby how I tired I felt at times, he told me he really admired my effort. I feel so appreciated hearing those words. And he told me that he thinks Ian is old enough to be fed with formula. He doesn’t mind if I want to stop BF because he knows how tiring it can be by watching me at times. Tsk tsk… truth to be told, he got me teary eyed in the car. Haha!

I told him I am touched each time when he tries to stay up with me during my last session of the day to help me wash my breast pump. He admitted sometimes he can’t stay up due to tiredness too, and I told him I totally understand. The fact that he tries most of the time is enough for me. Thanks so much love.

Another 5 weeks to 10 months. Gambate!!

Ian wearing mommy's watch. hehe...

Ian sleeping after he got tired of being cranky ;p

I am very excited when I checked my hotmail inbox today. Ian’s photos which hubby and I previously submitted for Candid Camera contest of Parenthood magazine won a prize. It  did not state what prize, just Pigeon products. This is an excerpt from the email I had:

 Dear Sir or Madam,

Congratulations! Your baby is one of the winners for the “Candid Camera” contest in Parenthood magazine (issue September 2010). Your baby had won a Pigeon product.

 Woohoo! So excited! Can’t wait to buy the magazine next month!! :D:D:D:D:D

I forgot which photo I submitted, I’ll upload it here once I can confirm after buying the magazine next month. Teeheee…. The exhilaration is not about what products he had won, more to the fact that he is one of the winners. Hahahaha!

It seemed to me that Ian mastered both his sitting and crawling skills at the same time. Prior to this (6months – 7months old), he can sit up with little support, but he tends to just lie on his back from sitting position because he never get knocked on his head as we always let him frolic around on the bed. So he has acquired that habit. Now am trying to slowly teach him that he cannot do that when he is sitting. In order to lie down, he needs to use his hand to lower himself first.

As for his crawling skills, before this, he crawls with his legs, and slides forward with his head on the bed instead of using his hands to inch forward. He looked really funny, just like a tractor when he does that. With his butt high up in the air and his face splattered on the bed. Hubby taught him how to use his hands and he is a fast learner, because he is already doing that. That kid now climbs all over pillows and me! I can no longer use my body to block him anymore because he will just crawl right all over me to get to his point of interest, which is the door of the room. I think by now he had forgotten the trauma of falling from the bed because he had no qualms about diving head down first. =.=

Lately, he seemed to sleep later than usual. So each time when we were playing on the bed, he never gets tired. He will always make attempts to crawl towards the door of the room, while I will always try to block him off. Whenever he reaches me and crawled over me, I will carry him up and put him right at the furthest corner and he will just start all over again. Both of us will repeat this process for god knows how long, until one of us eventually tires out. After he gets exhausted of doing the same thing repetitively, he will just lie on the bed and play with his smelly bolster instead. And then he starts to ramble. Yesterday, it was “da-da-dei or da dei”, something along the syllable. So he yaks and yaks and finally when he gets frustrated that nobody is paying any attention to him, he sometimes starts to yell or said “huh” just so to get your attention. I pretended to be asleep.

Up until a point he stops his baby talks and starts to roll around, putting his hand in the air to feel his surroundings. And then I fell asleep. I think he did too because when I woke up later on as hubby came in to check on us, Ian was fast asleep.

That little guy has a bundle of energy from god knows where. Hehee..

But I love to play with him. When I greeted him good morning, or good evening, or just telling him I love him, he always grins or sometimes laughs. He is a happy child, whatever funny sound I make triggers him into a laughing spree. And he likes to play hide and seek. Each time it won’t fail to make him laugh.

Yesterday we put him in his high chair while hubby and I was having our dinner, and he keeps leaning towards us, asking us to carry him. And we pretended to ignore him. Consequently, he went “uh.. uh”, just grunting, calling to us. It is his way of attracting our attention. Then he started to chew although there’s nothing in his mouth and swallows his saliva. It was really funny to watch. Pitiful too because I can’t let him yet those food yet. hehee..

Next time my boy, when you are older.

But lately he has been picky, always not finishing his milk. It was heartache on my side dumping the unfinished milk that I had painstakingly expressed for him. He has this bad habit of always leaving 1 oz of milk in his bottle and refuses to drink after that. Hmmph!